Tyler’s words of wisdom
1) The next time you feel like complaining to your chaplain or your lover about how miserable your life is, be thankful you are not cursedwith the three terrible Karmas: Beauty, Riches and Fame.
2) Pretty happy with where you are in life? Do the contents of your wallet define you? Are you as cool as those dancers on television becauseyou wear the same khakis? If so, keep it up; it seems everything is working out great for you.
3) Contrary to what your mothers and teachers tell you, you are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We are all a part of the same compost heap.
4) Don’t let everyday life get to you. I say a commonly used expression and act it out.Today’s phrase: “Abuse the Copy Machine”. Drop what you’re doing and have at it. Send us pictures and we’ll post them.
5) Today a question. Which is more noble? Allowing a pair of pandas to live offof the land knowing that they will never procreate and their species will go extinct or “rescuing” the pandas and forcing copulation for a steady wave of camera toting tourists?
6) What will youwish you’d done before you died? Paint a self-portrait? Build a house? Don’t wait until it’s too late. Do it now. Otherwise your last thought on this planet will be regret.
7) Oxygen gets you high.Next time you’re a plane headed for disaster, take short natural breaths, not the giant, panicked breaths you would normally take before a fiery death and see how much more horrific airline tragedy canbe.
8) In order to create soap, the yardstick for civilization, you must first render fat. And the best fat for making soap – because the salt balance is just right – comes from human bodies.9) Did you know that every year there are more people killed by mules than in airline accidents?
10) Ever find yourself wondering what people mean when they say “It’s all relative?” Consider this:...